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OK, Enough with This Bullshit

posted at 11:46 am
on Sep. 2, 2007

Comments: 2 so far

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Seriously, Vancouver.  Come ON.  You’re a smart city.  You’re good looking.  You’ve got so much going for you, but you’re throwing it all away with this absolutely disgusting weather.

Here we are on the Labor Day long weekend, and I’m wearing fleece.  FLEECE!  It’s an absolute abomination (not the fleece, the weather—the fleece is rather cozy).  I’ll tell you what it is: it’s a glass of cold water to the face—and about that.  It’s completely raining and overcast today? Sept. 2? The last summer fling before school starts and work picks up and Whisky Tango Foxtrot is it doing pouring rain on this hallowed day?  Didn’t you learn your manners, city! Disgraceful.

I’m told there’s this wonderful work-life balance here, but Vancouver, your crappy weather has me sitting in front of my keyboard in the middle of the long weekend.  That’s awful, just awful.  My lawn never even dried out this year.  Do you understand how bad a gardener I am? Do you understand how wet it has to be for me NOT to have killed off every plant in my yard?  We’re talking Noah-like levels of wetness.

But that’s not even the worst of it—no, I’ve had so much practice by now that I can handle another weekend of skywater and grey cotton batting overhead. No, the worst is this: I’m driving home along Broadway after breakfast, and there are shopkeepers SWEEPING GODDAMN LEAVES FROM THEIR STOOOPS!  THEIR STOOPS!

Out my window, I can now see the first tree turning yellowy-red with sadness.  As I stepped out of my car in the garage today, a dried leaf blew in under the garage door like the claw from some B-movie horror flick.  Need I remind you that Fall doesn’t start until Sept. 23?  Oh yes, I need.  I need indeed.

I can understand, you’re Vancouver, you’ve got this “rainy” rep to protect, but OK, we get it, fine, you’re so BADASS and DAMP.  But I mean, shit, all badasses gotta have a tan, you dig?  And if you plan to keep it all moldy and grim for the next month, I might have to just start telling people that you’re a premature season changer with no summer at all.  Then we’ll see how long your whole “I’m the #1 city in the world” rep lasts.  I mean, really.  Really.  pfft.



 
 

 

Previous entry:
Happy 30th, Staci and Nicole

Next entry:
Do You Feel Safer?

Overheard

“The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be good or evil.”

...who said it?

“Almost every American I know does trade large portions of his life for entertainment, hour by weeknight hour, binge by Saturday binge, Facebook check by Facebook check. I’m one of them. In the course of writing this I’ve watched all 13 episodes of House of Cards and who knows how many more West Wing episodes, and I’ve spent any number of blurred hours falling down internet rabbit holes. All instead of reading, or writing, or working, or spending real time with people I love.”

...who said it?

“Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.”

...who said it?

“I play with variables constantly.”

...who said it?

“Only the person who has learned Continual Love coming from a heart of Gratitude/Worship can effectively deal with the problem of loneliness.”

...who said it?

Comments

 

 

 

 

 

You're so cute when you're ranty. smile

 

Posted by Rachael
  at 12:42 pm on Sep. 3, 2007

 

 

 

Feel free to claim the heat and humidity from us will you?!

 

Posted by Kathryn
  at 2:00 pm on Sep. 5, 2007

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