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Safety First

posted at 11:27 am
on May. 25, 2011

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I just bought a new scanner from Fujitsu.

It came with a Getting Started guide, and an even smaller Getting Started But You Have Absolutely No Patience Because You Are a Child guide.

But it also came with a stand-alone, 55-page “Safety Precautions” book.  Yes, 55 pages.  Sure, that’s because it’s in 9 languages, but still…

It includes MANY MANY warnings and commands and advice. I’ve picked the best ones for you, so you don’t have to read all 55 pages.

* this [scanner] is not designed for the use in ... the control of nuclear reactions and in missile firing control in weapons systems

* do not drop ... liquids ... into the opening sections

* do not touch the power cable with wet hands

* avoid getting a sleeve, necktie or hair caught up in any [scanner] mechanism

* do not use [scanner] while covered with a blanket [unclear if *I* cannot be covered or if *it* cannot be covered]

* do not use ... while driving a car

* when installing the [scanner] on a table [i.e. putting it on a table], make sure the work surface is flat and stable and that none of the [scanner’s] part extend over the table edge, otherwise it may fall over or be pulled off the table and cause injuries

* check the following items once a month: [that the power cable is firmly plugged in], [dust the power cords with a soft, dry cloth]

* when handling documents, be careful not to cut your fingers with them

* when carrying it outside while it is raining or snowing, pay special attention so the [scanner] does not get wet. If it gets wet, wipe it or wait until it dries

* do not put the substance contained in the lamp in your mouth as it has mercury

* do not remove the warning label from the [scanner]. Avoid staining the label, so that it is clearly visible.

* the user must not perform repairs on the [scanner]

* READ ALL OF THIS DOCUMENT, GETTING STARTED, AND OPERATOR’S GUIDE CAREFULLY BEFORE USING THIS SCANNER. IF THE SCANNER IS NOT USED CORRECTLY, UNEXPECTED INJURY MAY BE CAUSED TO USERS OR BYSTANDERS [caps theirs, not mine]

* also, keep this document in a safe place so that it can be easily referred to during the use of this scanner

* make sure there are no missing parts in the scanned image data before disposing of the original document used for scanning [ok, to be fair, this actually is decent advice]

* copying the contents of this document in whole or in part ... is prohibited under copyright law. [Nuh uh, this is fair use, biatches!]

If you don’t hear from me after this blog post, at least you’ll know how I died.



 
 

 

Previous entry:
It’s Not a Tumor!

Next entry:
My House is For Sale ... Again

Overheard

“The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be good or evil.”

...who said it?

“Almost every American I know does trade large portions of his life for entertainment, hour by weeknight hour, binge by Saturday binge, Facebook check by Facebook check. I’m one of them. In the course of writing this I’ve watched all 13 episodes of House of Cards and who knows how many more West Wing episodes, and I’ve spent any number of blurred hours falling down internet rabbit holes. All instead of reading, or writing, or working, or spending real time with people I love.”

...who said it?

“Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.”

...who said it?

“I play with variables constantly.”

...who said it?

“Only the person who has learned Continual Love coming from a heart of Gratitude/Worship can effectively deal with the problem of loneliness.”

...who said it?

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