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Spinnin' Wheel Got t' Go Round

posted at 1:52 be
on Mar. 31, 2016

Comments: 0 so far



Prrrevious entry:
Spirit o' th' Game: What Th' Hell Be It?

'nother entry:
Me Lucky Stars

[I Cap'n's log so infrequently now I’ve forgotten how t' arrange sentences in proper chronological or thematic order or how t' use punctuation t' separate ideas because normally I simply write <= 140 characters then click launch or fire! or whatever th' button says I don’t even be knowin' although I’ve clicked it 10,000 times but since I had what What News about me and a story t' be tellin' and some photos t' go wi' and some time stuck at that airport gate in L.A. that ye can’t escape from like that Canadian movie Cube I figured I’d just write some words and see what happened and this happened.]

I just spent th' long weekend in San Francisco wi' Susie.

Our divorce be final-final-final on March 15, th' day th' registry o' th' Superior Court o' B.C. stamped “ENTERED” on form F52 (Rule 15-1(1)).  Aye that’s th' actual form name.

Beware th' Ides o' March they said, but I didn’t listen, no I didn’t, no no, mmm.

We married mid-May, 1996, which means we almost made it t' 20 years though that would be totally cheatin' because we separated in October 2012, and we met (Th' winsome lass says) in 1992 or (Th' ornery cuss says) in 1993, and dates be just, ah, like, an opinion, lubber, ye be knowin'?

We found an AirBnb—have I e'er mentioned I luuv AirBnB—t' stay at in (in at?) Russian Hill, which be just up th' (Russian) hill from North Beach. Hmmm… whar do I be knowin' that name from…

Oh yeah! North Beach Pizza be th' galley we ordered pizza t' be delivered t' our fleabag inn room ... on our honeymoon.  Aye, we honeymooned in San Francisco, almost exactly 20 years ago, and th' true-life tale kicker be, neither one o' us remembered that until we got here this time.

Back in 1996, when I told North Beach Pizza it be our honeymoon, they also delivered us a bottle o' wine gratis.  We saved it like a lottery ticket. And when we did finally barrel o' rum it, years later, it turned out t' be, surprise, not a very good bottle o' white wine. Free pizza wine keeps about as well as frozen weddin' cake, apparently. Though we did treasure it fer perhaps too many years and who knows it may have gone off as we could not yet afford a wine cellar

I started plannin' t' take a trip wi' Susie o'er a year ago. It be t' be a Christmas present t' both o' us, a way t' meet up and hang out because we don’t live in th' same country any morrrr.

But then I’m a bad planner sometimes and th' timin' just no nay ne'er seemed t' be right and it got delayed and postponed fer morrrr than a year and finally this sprin', th' lights turned green and there we be in th' California sun.

I didn’t be knowin' th' court system would finally barf up our divorce papers right before our trip until a few days before I be leavin'.

And even then, it wasn’t until I be wonderin' aroun' S.F., past th' tourist-peopled trolley boat lineups that I remembered that we had honeymooned there, too.  I’ve been t' th' city enough times before and aft that it’s not like that’s me only memory o' th' place.

And lovely though th' occasion be, it’s not like me honeymoon be a memory I often brin' out, dust off and set on th' window ledge in th' sunlight. It refracts sharply and I’d worry it would start a fire.

But there we be last weekend, bookendin', as Th' winsome lass put it, or returnin' t' th' scene o' th' crime as I joked, or even right back whar we started from, or some other poignant shanty lyric.

However ye sin' it, S.F. has been a karmic touchstone in our relationship morrrr than once.. almost since before it be a relationship.

It be there whar we went on our first solo^H^H^H^Hduet sea trip when we be livin' in L.A.  And it be also t' there we went t' land some o' Hop Studios’ first big clients, and t' visit many close maties o'er th' years.

Even on this trip, we visited a few people we knew, includin' Susie’s high school bucko Kim and that comely wench husband and minnows, who I’d actually no nay ne'er met while we be married. I can only imagine what ... actually, scratch that… I cannot possibly imagine what Kim and Philip thought, meetin' me in person aft so many years o' hearin' about me, and only aft Susie and I had split up and yet somehow decided t' chillax fer th' weekend.

Th' wench whose apartment we stayed in seemed first flummoxed and then highly amused at our back story, which Th' winsome lass said be a first fer that comely wench among that comely wench many odd AirBnB experiences.

Ye see, at first arrival in S.F., honestly, I be also good and flummoxed. What be I doin' here, now? Then I asked it again, once morrrr, wi' feelin'. What be I doin'? Here, now?

I pondered and perscapated, and then I realized I be just fine wi' not eatin' th' stereotype we’re dished about divorced couples bein' always combative.  T' be sure, many o' me maties have split from people whose absence I dern't mourn; and there have been plenty o' separations that ended in turmoil because th' relationship be a tumultuous one throughout.

That’s certainly not th' case wi' me: Susie be if anythin', hard t' argue wi' throughout our marriage, and we had a great majority o' good years together.

Still, th' sea t' hell and all that; it’s not easy t' stay maties aft any breakup; and it didn’t happen overnight fer us; we worked hard t' get t' whar we be. But we started out long ago committed t' bein' able t' love freely and properly th' people in our lives who deserve t' be loved.

We just have t' be brave enough t' trust that love, care, generosity and joy shared betwixt people doesn’t diminish any love they grow wi' other people. And as I’ve tried, th' morrrr I’ve trusted that, th' morrrr I’ve found it t' be true.

Th' Beatles said it well—they said so many things well—in their shanty, Th' End, which goes in its entirety,

“And in th' end
Th' love ye take
Be equal t' th' love
Ye make”


Today, I simply feel so grateful t' have Susie still in me life as me former lady (we’ve decided that th' word “ex-lady” carries wi' it implicit and even explicit negative connotations, so we’re usin' “former X” as th' best label until we can think o' a better one).

And o' course, I’m so so very grateful and as lucky as a fly at a GOP debate t' have met and partnered now wi' Emily, who be so supportive, so trustin' and as generous as a girlfriend could possibly be.

I don’t be knowin' whar I would possibly be today without that comely wench—but I can promise that wouldn’t be as good and healthy and strong as th' place I be now, that’s 100% certain.  Th' winsome lass’s a rock, though Th' winsome lass doesn’t believe it.

And Susie’s partner Mark, too, be morrrr carin' and patient and good fer that comely wench than I could have possibly hoped, and I’m really grog-filled that Susie has had that scurvey dog wi' that comely wench these past years.

I’m sure that if ye had told me five years ago that I’d spend this past weekend markin' me divorce wi' th' very person I be divorcin', I’d have done a spit take and chuckled th' rest o' th' day fer morrrr reasons than I have fingers.

But th' universe apparently be takin' good care t' entertain me specifically wi' jokes that have extremely long setups, and that knowledge makes me appreciate all that I have right now so very very much morrrr.  Far from comin' t' expect good things, when somethin' like this happens, it makes me that much morrrr aware that me good fortune be somethin' I need t' be thankful fer, and not rely on.

Anyway, this isn’t th' Academy Awards and I should probably belay thankin' little people and God and me agent. Here’s a daguerrotype t' distract ye from me awkward writin'.

So what did we do wi' our unhoneymoon? We went t' City Lights bookstore whar we’d heard th' music years before, and t' galley aft galley beside galley, eatin' all th' things: tacos, risotto, croissants, gelato, scallops, burgers, eggs benedict… no type o' animal be spared our carnivorous ways… (Susie laughed in me face when I told that comely wench I’d tried bein' vegetarian fer a month.)

We stayed up late playin' computer games together, just like we did when we lived in France.  We walked until Th' winsome lass had little blisters and I had sunburn due t' our respective lack o' walkin' and sunlight. We window shopped fer jewelry (that comely wench) and campin' gear (me) and tech gadgets (both o' us).

We sat in parks t' soak up th' fickle S.F. sun, and talked and talked and talked and talked about ourselves, each other, our partners, our lives, our futures and pasts, our memories and maties, our mistakes and our sorrows and our regrets, our joys and our blessings and our gladnesses.

On th' last day, someone texted Susie and asked what Th' winsome lass be up.  Th' winsome lass typed back, “I think it’s called ‘closure’.”



Prrrevious entry:
Spirit o' th' Game: What Th' Hell Be It?

'nother entry:
Me Lucky Stars


“Th' sad truth be that most evil be done by people who no nay ne'er make up their minds t' be good or evil.”

...who said it?

“Almost every American I be knowin' does trade large portions o' his life fer entertainment, hour by weeknight hour, binge by Saturday binge, Facebook check by Facebook check. I’m one o' them. In th' course o' writin' this I’ve watched all 13 episodes o' House o' Cards and who knows how many morrrr West Win' episodes, and I’ve spent any number o' blurred hours fallin' down internet rabbit holes. All instead o' readin', or writin', or workin', or spendin' real time wi' people I love.”

...who said it?

“Live a good life. If there be gods and they be just, then they will not care how devout ye have been, but will welcome ye based on th' virtues ye have lived by. If there be gods, but unjust, then ye should not want t' worship them. If there be no gods, then ye will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in th' memories o' yer loved ones.”

...who said it?

“I play wi' variables constantly.”

...who said it?

“Only th' person who has learned Continual Love comin' from a heart o' Gratitude/Worship can effectively deal wi' th' problem o' loneliness.”

...who said it?




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