Travis Smith: my resume, bio and photos back to the main blog page

Happy 2005!

This year, I resolved to write my resolutions in time for New Year’s so I won’t have to fill space with things like this…

In order to help you through the coming year with a minimum of social and familial discomfort, I’ve written this short guide to appropriate and inappropriate feelings for each of the holidays. I have determined these proper emotions through careful observation and scientific experimentation over the past 30 years. In short, my pain is your gain.

What can you add to this list?

HolidayAppropriate Feelings Inappropriate Feelings
New YearsResolute, Wistful, CelebratoryBored, Relieved
Valentine’s DayRomantic, Adventurous Jealous, Lonely, Fat
Earth DayHarmonious, Empowered Greedy, Unperturbed
April Fool’s Day BaffledPredatory
PassoverGuilty, Redeemed Exhausted, Visibly drunk
EasterSinful, SavedUnimpressed, Sticky fingered
Mother’s Day Infinitely unworthy, Loved Burdened
(Insert Country Here) DayProud, Patriotic Jingoistic, Chosen (Granted, it’s a hard line to draw)
Memorial DayContrite, Sorrowful, Liberated, HumbleLazy, Blessed
RamadanCleansed, Pious Full
HalloweenLiberated (not like Memorial Day, be careful!), Disguised, Amused Riotous, Diabetic, Possessed
ThanksgivingThankfulAnger, Disrespect
ChristmasGrateful, GenerousAbandoned, Unvalued, Selfish
(Bonus) BirthdayRecognized, Loved, Older in a good way Egotistical, Older in a bad way


“The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be good or evil.”

...who said it?

“Almost every American I know does trade large portions of his life for entertainment, hour by weeknight hour, binge by Saturday binge, Facebook check by Facebook check. I’m one of them. In the course of writing this I’ve watched all 13 episodes of House of Cards and who knows how many more West Wing episodes, and I’ve spent any number of blurred hours falling down internet rabbit holes. All instead of reading, or writing, or working, or spending real time with people I love.”

...who said it?

“Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.”

...who said it?

“I play with variables constantly.”

...who said it?

“Only the person who has learned Continual Love coming from a heart of Gratitude/Worship can effectively deal with the problem of loneliness.”

...who said it?




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