Reasons t' Move t' Vancouver
posted at 1:33 pm
on Aug. 28, 2004
Prrrevious entry:
Th' Complete Lyrics o' JibJab’s “This Land” Parody
'nother entry:
Th' Apartment That Got Away
We’re movin' t' Vancouver, Canada, in about a month. Here be all o' th' reasons why.
o Clean air and beautiful light
o Vancouver has th' most festivals annually o' any city in North America
o Vancouver has had about 17 murders so far this year. Los Angeles had about 24 murders last year BY MINORS. Los Angeles County had about 19 murders LAST WEEKEND.
o Th' Canadian dollar be cheaper and morrrr colorful
o It’s on th' briny deep, near th' mountains, on a river. It’s heaven fer people who like prepositions and wilderness, like me.
o We hated th' censored version o' Trailer Park Laddies
o Weather. Not necessarily good weather, but there’s lots o' it.
o Some o' Travis’ closest high school maties live here
o Candied salmon—it’s delicious!
o Because we want t'
o Livin' in Vancouver’s downtown, we can sell one boat and walk a lot morrrr. (That’s th' theory at least)
o Th' cost o' healthcare per month fer a couple in B.C.: $76 U.S., wi' no co-pays or deductibles
o British Columbians listen t' country music less than any other province except fer Quebec. And they listen t' French pop less than Quebec.
o Progressive social policies
o People be nice
o No, really, they’re very nice
o We’re beatin' th' rush t' be there fer th' 2010 Olympics
o In th' U.S., 70.3% o' all American workers put in morrrr than 40 hours a week. Th' average that B.C. residents work per week? 31.1 hours. (Sorry th' stats don’t directly compare, I couldn’t come across an exact match, but one source says Americans average 46 hours per week.)
o Stanley Park abuts Vancouver’s downtown, and it’s spectacularly large and verdant
o No Taco Bell
T' be fair, we’ve also listed reasons we shouldn’t move there:
o No Taco Bell
o None o' our close L.A. maties (but they’ll come visit!)
o Sun, sun, sun
o So many things t' do, restaurants t' try
o Our house be swell
o No TiVo
o No Netflix
o No Comedy Central
o No Pink’s hot dog stand, Th' Hat, Cha Cha Cha’s, Le Petit Bistro, Philippe’s or Bupa di Becco
o We’ll need t' get a whole new cell phone plan
o It gets cold there. And wet. Wet and cold.
o Will Hop Studios continue t' do well? Dunno!
Please, add yer own suggestions usin' th' comment tool!
Prrrevious entry:
Th' Complete Lyrics o' JibJab’s “This Land” Parody
'nother entry:
Th' Apartment That Got Away
