Sometimes I feel empty, like a paper bag with nothing in it. I rustle a bit, but I’m made of sturdy stuff, so I don’t deflate, fall over, lie flat.
Sometimes I push it all out of my mind for a while. But if I talk to someone, anyone, for too long on any unrelated subject, it inevitably comes up again.
Mostly I just read news sites and try to figure out what happened yesterday, now that I have had some time to digest it. Of course, I keep getting distracted by today’s update—CNN sent out at least two breaking news announcements today and a few yesterday. But I can stop and think reasonably about this all tomorrow, when things get a little calmer.
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It’s not that I’m personally worried about the possibility of another attack. OK, that’s part of it, but not a big part. I mean, I live in L.A., but not at Disneyland or a military base. (Funny, those in the same sentence.)
But I do work at Variety, and Susie works at U.S.C., and those aren’t non-entities—they’re probably slightly higher on the list than Krispy Kreme, lower than Universal Studios.
Mostly, I think, I’m upset by the fact that I have a list in my head that has a big headline, underlined, that reads “If I Was a Terrorist, I Would Attack…” and then has about a zillion targets.
If I Was a Terrorist I Would Attack…
things that are very tall and important
things that are very old and historic
things that are popular and fun and full of people
cute kittens
the American way of life
the mall—we hate Banana Republic
the heart of the transportation industry—the DMV
schools
hospitals
churches
parks
museums
libraries
banks
delis
gas stations
office supply stores
Nike (Just Do It)
the man
the airwaves
That last one’s kind of interesting, and it’s what someone has basically done. I’m not saying that anthrax isn’t horrible and scary and a risk. But is it really the worst risk to American lives right now? No, it’s a diversion. But because it’s happening to JOURNALISTS—to the very people who decide what stories are important, we’re blowing the stories out of proportion to their magnitude.
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But enough. As I said earlier, a lot of conversations seem to turn to this lately. I guess that’s what happens during a war—I never really knew that before. Live and learn. Live and learn.
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On the car ride home yesterday, I saw a man standing in the street with a white sign. He’d scrawled a message on it, in marker. It said www.sparechange.com.
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I went to The Pig restaurant recently with Tuzy and Calvin. The Pig is a barbecue place in L.A. that has above average barbecue at a decent price. It’s on La Brea, but for me, if I’m that close to Pink’s, why am I wasting my time at The Pig?
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People keep calling my cell phone to buy my Dad’s car. He was in L.A. while I was in South Africa. He fed our cat, and watered our plant. When we came back, there were flowers in places I didn’t even know could flower.
Anyway, he listed the car in the Recycler, http://www.recycler.com, and now these people call for it, but he went hoe because while he was here, not a single person called. Odd.
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There are flying creatures eating a table outside my door. I bought some termite and other creature killer and sprayed it on the table. We’ll see how it goes—though i don’t exactly think these are termites; but what do I know? If you have advice, please let me know.
“Almost every American I know does trade large portions of his life for entertainment, hour by weeknight hour, binge by Saturday binge, Facebook check by Facebook check. I’m one of them. In the course of writing this I’ve watched all 13 episodes of House of Cards and who knows how many more West Wing episodes, and I’ve spent any number of blurred hours falling down internet rabbit holes. All instead of reading, or writing, or working, or spending real time with people I love.”
“Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.”
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