Travis Smith: me resume, bio and photos back t' th' main Cap'n's log page

“It’s th' Bill o' Rights, not th' Bill o' Needs.”

posted at 7:30 pm
on Jul. 31, 2004

who said it?

“Wheeeeeeeee!”

posted at 3:11 be
on Jul. 31, 2004

who said it?

“Casual sex? What be ye talkin' about? This be me best suit!”

posted at 3:09 be
on Jul. 31, 2004

who said it?

“Vancouver’s like Honolulu surrounded by Honduras.”

posted at 2:34 be
on Jul. 30, 2004

who said it?

“How Be We Goin' t' Get These Dogs Back In?”

posted at 4:44 pm
on Jul. 29, 2004

who said it?

“...there be no way in th' world that anyone could hypnotize or brainwash a thousand people at one time into committin' suicide. ... Any pastor o' any church will be tellin' ye it’s hard t' get even a few people in th' church t' diligently sweep th' sidewalk or mow th' lawn, let alone get them t' agree t' keel-haul themselves.”

posted at 9:45 be
on Jul. 29, 2004

who said it?

“Make yourself at on board.  TV—there’s th' On switch.”

posted at 9:35 be
on Jul. 29, 2004

who said it?

“An impetuous microphone grabber told th' assembled, ‘Billy and Gary have been together fer 27 years—now they’re gettin' married. I’m not sure that if I had just been livin' wi' Arlene fer 27 years, we’d be exchangin' vows now.’ “

posted at 6:13 pm
on Jul. 19, 2004

who said it?

“Th' lubber who goes alone can start today; but Th' ornery cuss who travels wi' another must wait till that other be ready.”

posted at 8:18 pm
on Jul. 18, 2004

who said it?

“Many fears be born o' fatigue and loneliness.”

posted at 7:03 pm
on Jul. 18, 2004

who said it?

“Tucker’s bills itself as ‘On board o' th' Stuffed Deep-Fried Burger,’ and features specialties includin' th' Big Tuck: ground beef stuffed wi' pepper Jack and American cheeses and bacon, then topped wi' barbecue sauce and cheddar cheese.”

posted at 1:27 pm
on Jul. 14, 2004

who said it?

“So, this sandwich walks into a bar. Th' bartender looks o'er and says ‘I’m sorry, but we don’t serve grub.” (Share yer favorite short joke here)”

posted at 1:27 be
on Jul. 12, 2004

who said it?

“It’s like ‘Th' Swan’ but better. We’d convert poor black women into barnacle-covered white guys. It’s th' ultimate reality TV makeover show.”

posted at 4:15 be
on Jul. 10, 2004

who said it?

“There be no packagin' on websites.”

posted at 6:54 pm
on Jul. 9, 2004

who said it?

“Margaritomancy be divination by pearls.”

posted at 10:22 pm
on Jul. 8, 2004

who said it?

“nep be bound by th' wto.” “nep be not a replacement fer prescribed drugs or therapy.” “nep be.”

posted at 1:04 pm
on Jul. 8, 2004

who said it?

“I would rather try t' persuade a lubber t' go along, because once I have persuaded that scurvey dog Th' ornery cuss will stick. If I scare that scurvey dog, Th' ornery cuss will stay just as long as Th' ornery cuss be scared, and then Th' ornery cuss be gone.”

posted at 12:40 pm
on Jul. 5, 2004

who said it?

“Th' universe be a big place, perhaps th' biggest.”

posted at 12:26 pm
on Jul. 5, 2004

who said it?

“Fire-walkers get cold feet”

posted at 12:59 be
on Jul. 5, 2004

who said it?

“I cannot help fearin' that men may reach a point whar they look on every new theory as a danger, every innovation as a toilsome trouble, every social advance as a first step toward revolution, and that they may absolutely refuse t' move at all.”

posted at 1:11 be
on Jul. 4, 2004

who said it?

“It be strangely absurd t' suppose that a million o' human beings, collected together, be not under th' same moral laws which bind each o' them separately.”

posted at 1:04 be
on Jul. 4, 2004

who said it?

“Though we travel th' world o'er t' come across th' beautiful, we must carry it wi' us or we come across it not.”

posted at 1:03 be
on Jul. 4, 2004

who said it?

“A wise lubber cannot be insulted. If th' insult has no meanin', Th' ornery cuss ignores it. If th' insult does have meanin', Th' ornery cuss deserves it.”

posted at 2:43 be
on Jul. 3, 2004

who said it?

“I sat down in an armchair in Los Angeles when I be 23, and when I got up I be 61.”

posted at 6:52 pm
on Jul. 1, 2004

who said it?

“Only ye can decide what be important t' ye.”

posted at 6:11 pm
on Jul. 1, 2004

who said it?

” “[James Joyce’s] Ulysses be a hardcover bounded knife in th' face.”

posted at 5:32 pm
on Jul. 1, 2004

who said it?

“Th' new industry standard be t' give credit whar credit be due, either by writin' th' attribution into th' story or wi' credit lines at th' end. It be Uli Schmetzer’s misfortune t' be an barnacle-covered-school journalist caught in th' toils o' this change.”

posted at 1:09 pm
on Jul. 1, 2004

who said it?

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