“Drunk guy: Here’s hoping you’re in Heaven ten minutes before the devil knows you’re dead.
Drunk girl: What’s that mean?
Drunk guy: It’s an Irish toast.
Drunk girl: Oh. Well, here’s to bread, eggs and cinnamon.
Drunk guy: Huh?
Drunk girl: That’s French toast.”

posted at 12:02 am
on Dec. 30, 2005

who said it?

“In life, people tend to wait for good things to come to them. And by waiting, they miss out. Usually, what you wish for doesn’t fall in your lap; it falls somewhere nearby, and you have to recognize it, stand up, and put in the time and work it takes to get it. This isn’t because the universe is cruel. It’s because the universe is smart.”

posted at 5:39 pm
on Dec. 25, 2005

who said it?

“As if it were a swarm of bees, you should stay away from the SyncServices folder in Mac OS X 10.4.”

posted at 12:00 am
on Dec. 20, 2005

who said it?

“Recently I quit caffeine. My doctor seems to think that 17 Diet Cokes per day is too much. In case you ever consider getting off caffeine yourself, let me explain the process. You begin by sitting motionlessly in a desk chair. Then you just keep doing that forever because life has no meaning.”

posted at 1:15 am
on Dec. 18, 2005

who said it?

“Enjoy yourself. It’s later than you think.”

posted at 11:02 pm
on Dec. 14, 2005

who said it?

“Habit is the denial of creativity and the negation of freedom; a self-imposed straitjacket of which the wearer is unaware.”

posted at 11:02 pm
on Dec. 12, 2005

who said it?

“The guy who drove me home had apparently met Kylie on Craigslist, aka the only place in the world where you can get a free couch AND meet a person to sleep with you on it.”

posted at 7:50 pm
on Dec. 8, 2005

who said it?

THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON FRIGHTENS ME!!!

posted at 2:41 pm
on Dec. 8, 2005

who said it?

“If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.”

posted at 11:02 pm
on Dec. 7, 2005

who said it?

“Through working in harmony with life’s circumstances, Taoist understanding changes what others may perceive as negative into something positive.”

posted at 11:58 pm
on Dec. 6, 2005

who said it?

“Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense.”

posted at 11:02 pm
on Dec. 4, 2005

who said it?

“I believe in the profession of Journalism. I believe that the public journal is a public trust; that all connected with it are, to the full measure of responsibility, trustees for the public; that acceptance of lesser service than the public service is a betrayal of this trust.”

posted at 11:49 pm
on Dec. 2, 2005

who said it?

“I am being sent to a special diabeties class in the next week or two .. that sounds fun.. I should bring cupcakes”

posted at 12:50 am
on Dec. 1, 2005

who said it?

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