“Many women insist a sense of humor is the ultimate turn-on. Me, I’ve said lots of funny stuff. And not once has it worked on a woman. All they do is laugh.”
posted at 2:15 pm
on Jan. 31, 2007
“Yeah, hi, I just wanted to know what you were screwing in there?”
posted at 5:10 pm
on Jan. 24, 2007
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is though everything is a miracle.”
posted at 12:57 pm
on Jan. 23, 2007
“MY FAVORITE recent celebrity article, here in the City of Self-Denial, is about an actress and her favorite L.A. breakfast diner. In the article, she said she loved the joint because the smell of bacon really permeated the place. She explained that, since she’s a vegetarian, she never actually orders the bacon. But she really loves the smell.”
posted at 5:58 pm
on Jan. 18, 2007
“Do things as soon as you can. If a decision needs to be made, make it. It gives you more time to change your mind.
posted at 1:08 pm
on Jan. 16, 2007
“Francis Crick said we should pay poor people not to have children. I think we’re now in a terrible situation where we should pay the rich people to have children. If there’s any correlation between success and genes, IQ will fall if the successful people don’t have children. These are self-obvious facts.”
posted at 1:08 pm
on Jan. 15, 2007
“If I had been married earlier in life, I wouldn’t have seen the double helix. I would have been taking care of the kids on Saturday. On the other hand, I was lonely a lot of the time.”
posted at 1:08 pm
on Jan. 12, 2007
“Adults take note: Pony comes unassembled in box with head detatched. You may wish to not open the box around your children if they may be frightened by a box with a decapitated horse inside.”
posted at 5:22 pm
on Jan. 11, 2007
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