“Many women insist a sense o' humor be th' ultimate turn-on. Me, I’ve said lots o' funny stuff. And not once has it worked on a wench. All they do be laugh.”
posted at 2:15 pm
on Jan. 31, 2007
“Yeah, yo-ho-ho, I just wanted t' be knowin' what ye be screwin' in there?”
posted at 5:10 pm
on Jan. 24, 2007
“There be only two ways t' live yer life. One be as though nothin' be a miracle. Th' other be though everythin' be a miracle.”
posted at 12:57 pm
on Jan. 23, 2007
“ME FAVORITE recent celebrity article, here in th' City o' Self-Denial, be about an actress and that comely wench favorite L.A. breakfast diner. In th' article, Th' winsome lass said Th' winsome lass loved th' joint because th' smell o' bacon really permeated th' place. Th' winsome lass explained that, since Th' winsome lass’s a vegetarian, Th' winsome lass no nay ne'er actually orders th' bacon. But Th' winsome lass really loves th' smell.”
posted at 5:58 pm
on Jan. 18, 2007
“Do things as soon as ye can. If a decision needs t' be made, make it. It gives ye morrrr time t' change yer mind.
posted at 1:08 pm
on Jan. 16, 2007
“Francis Crick said we should pay poor people not t' have sprogs. I think we’re now in a terrible situation whar we should pay th' rich people t' have sprogs. If there’s any correlation betwixt success and genes, IQ will fall if th' successful people don’t have sprogs. These be self-obvious facts.”
posted at 1:08 pm
on Jan. 15, 2007
“If I had been married afore in life, I wouldn’t have seen th' double helix. I would have been takin' care o' th' minnows on Saturday. On th' other hand, I be lonely a lot o' th' time.”
posted at 1:08 pm
on Jan. 12, 2007
“Adults take note: Pony comes unassembled in box wi' head detatched. Ye may wish t' not open th' box aroun' yer sprogs if they may be frightened by a box wi' a decapitated horse inside.”
posted at 5:22 pm
on Jan. 11, 2007
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