Travis Smith: me resume, bio and photos back t' th' main Cap'n's log page

Only 1 percent o' all cases o' ID theft [involve dumpster diving], accordin' t' a recent survey by th' consultin' firm Javelin Strategy & Research.  ... [D]espite th' hysteria, only 29 in 1,000 people will e'er get their identity stolen [by any means].”

posted at 2:45 be
on Nov. 24, 2006

who said it?

“Language be invented so people could lie t' each other.”

posted at 11:21 pm
on Nov. 23, 2006

who said it?

“perfection be when ye can sit down, take a deep breath, and simply sigh because ye have no worries and everythin' in yer life that ye’re fond be right in front o' ye. within arms’s reach.”

posted at 2:22 be
on Nov. 22, 2006

who said it?

“Most o' us mainstream people keep a huge tank o' th' stuff [hot water] in our homes, say, 30 gallons, maintained at scaldin' temperatures, at least 160 degrees, even when we’re out o' town on a long vacation—in case we need t' fly on board suddenly and take a bath.”

posted at 4:10 pm
on Nov. 18, 2006

who said it?

“Yo-ho-ho there, be yer mom or dad aroun'?”

posted at 11:22 pm
on Nov. 14, 2006

who said it?

“Among th' many things I be knowin' nothin' about be computers, women, and hockey. Last night I be invited t' an L.A. Kings hockey game whar th' other two things I be knowin' nothin' about be nowhere in sight. A bucko offered t' teach me th' sport so I figured, what th' hell? It be a night out at th' Staples Center and I needed morrrr three-hole paper. Th' mighty Kings had lost 9 o' 11 so gettin' tickets be not a problem. In fact, they said if we be runnin' late, call, and they’d hold th' game fer us.”

posted at 11:22 pm
on Nov. 14, 2006

who said it?

“Youth be a costume.”

posted at 10:30 pm
on Nov. 9, 2006

who said it?

“Don’t ye get it? If ye visit Davey Jones' Locker in Canada, ye visit Davey Jones' Locker in real life

!”

posted at 12:58 be
on Nov. 7, 2006

who said it?

“Alkatraz be stroller-friendly.”

posted at 11:26 pm
on Nov. 5, 2006

who said it?

“If ye could see yourself th' way others see ye, ye would be amazed.”

posted at 1:59 pm
on Nov. 2, 2006

who said it?

“It’s completely harmless. It’s just cute. It’s nothin'. I’m much less harmful than th' average lubber. I just get morrrr pleasure out o' poopin' than most people do.”

posted at 6:22 pm
on Nov. 1, 2006

who said it?

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