“1. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever. ... 4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. ... 7. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies
the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. ... 10. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten. “